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A woman who was severely abused as a child is decrying
MP Sue Bradford's attempts to equate physical discipline with abuse and to
demonise Christians who discipline their children.
In a speech Ms Bradford
made even stronger allegations, linking discipline and sexual abuse.
She said: "Personally, I have no problem with
sadomasochism carried out between consenting adults using safe sex practices. What
I do have a problem with is a legacy of hidden sexual violence practised on
children and young people under a mantle of so-called discipline. Section 59 of
the Crimes Act has been protecting the perpetrators of a vicious mix of sexual
and physical abuse for generations."
Former Christchurch woman Glenyss Barker, who lately
moved to Melbourne, says that as a child she was in a family that suffered
horrific abuse from an alcoholic father.
"I can now speak because both my parents are dead
and it will not cause them any pain to do this. My mother was abused, as were
all of my siblings. Being the youngest, I believe I probably got off more
lightly but the memories are still there.
"Because of this experience I am fully aware, as
I was as a little girl, of the difference between 'abuse ' and 'discipline '.
After the family broke up and the divorce, my mother did discipline us with
smacks and I knew that this was not abuse, but justified because my actions had
needed to be reprimanded.
"All children need guidance and, at times,
something stronger than a word to make them behave. Children with strong
personalities will always try to push the boundaries but they need to know the
adults are in charge and are to be obeyed.
"As a teacher it was also apparent to me which
children were loved and cared for, and I was always aware of the children who
were not disciplined at home. They were often the ones wanting stricter
guidelines in the classroom, and they responded very well to classroom
structure and order."
Mrs Barker says repealing Section 59 of the Crimes Act
will do nothing to correct abuse in New Zealand homes, but it will make loving
parents fearful and prevent them from sensibly disciplining children so they
grow up as mature, caring adults.
"My children have reflected that they respect the
discipline in our home and I am very proud of the young women they have grown
into. We disciplined them when it was needed, but did not abuse them - they
like me, even as children, recognised the difference."
Mrs Barker says to regard loving discipline or a smack
as abuse shows that people do not have any idea of what abuse really is.
"I do - it happened to me and I really am worried
that Ms Bradford is seeking to remove the only help parents have to assert the
authority needed to ensure children are brought up knowing their actions have
consequences in life."
Mrs Barker was formerly secretary of the television
viewers organisation VoTE (Viewers for Television Excellence).
She says the deluge of extremely violent and sexual
scenes daily on TV is a far better documented cause of the breakdown in homes
than parental discipline. The instances of teenage murder and violence lately
are ample examples of the effect copycat violence is having.
"If Ms Bradford honestly wishes to reduce the
amount of child abuse in homes she should start with the dreadful programmes
that are screened during the times children are known to be up and watching
TV," she says.
EDITORIAL: Bradford insulting all
parents